E.P.I.C. Fail

So I finally signed up for my personal trainer on Tuesday. I was so excited and nervous at the same time. I don't know about you, but I don't really like having someone constantly watch how I work out, but this is for a better reason, so I should probably just get over that. Anyway, she finally calls on Wednesday morning to set up for Thursday morning, yay!! So I had my first training session yesterday at 8:30 am.

I will still kinda tired but that's because I didn't go to bed early enough. But I went in thinking that I would do well at whatever she was going to make me do...boy, was I wrong. She had me do a fitness test just to gage where I was and how hard she could push me. I did the first, I think three, pretty well and then it went down hill...this is where the fail part happens. My heart started racing so fast, I was incredibly dizzy and I was coughing all over the place. So we had to stop half way through and little baby, pathetic me had to lie down and catch her breath. Once I had my heart rate down, she and I kinda power walked around the gym and then I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. To puke. It was just lovely. So up came my breakfast and down went my fitness test. EPIC FAIL. After puking I felt a little better so she had me finish a lower impact version of the rest of my fitness test. Then we talked about what I was going to be doing with her over the next 7 sessions. Lots of pyramid stuff, fitness test stuff and cardio. Sounds good to me. After it was over, she was so nice and understanding about it by the way, I walked to my car and drove home.

I was so mad at myself. Completely ashamed. Granted I have been sick for almost three weeks and during that time I did not go to the gym because every time I tried to do almost any kind of exercise, I almost coughed up a lung. So I could've worked out but not in a good way. Like I wouldn't have gotten anything done that made a difference. Jordin thinks I am being too hard on myself. I think I am too. But I have higher expectations of myself when it comes to fitness and being healthy, which is why gaining all this weight has been hard and annoying to me. I know what I can look like and I determined to get back to where I was. I know that bodies change as you get older and as a female, it's going to be a lot harder to lose weight as I get older, but like I said, I'm determined. But here's to looking forward to a better session next time. No more throwing up or wussing out.